Enough Already: All the Stuff I’m Totally Over Seeing on Facebook

Things I'm totally over on FacebookFacebook – can’t live without it. I use it to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. I can reconnect with old friends and even make new ones. We share photos, thoughts, opinions and everything in between. Although many people lament the fact that we seem to spend more time on devices and less time face to face, I’d argue that we are more connected and avidly communicating with more people than ever before. We talk about everything from personal problems to political opinion. It’s great and amazing and I love it. Except for when I don’t.

Facebook can be used for so many great things. We can share helpful videos, belly laughs, passions, thoughts and problems for brainstorming. Instead, some people use it constantly to share these 5 things that drive me up the wall! All I ask if that we think, just a little bit, before clicking that button. Is it mean, vague, private, passive-aggressive or just FAR too much information? Then don’t share it. Start with these five things:

“My kids are little sh*ts”

Mums and dads: I get it. Those days that involve crayons that redecorate your living areas or end up embedded in orifices they were never intended for. The sibling warfare or meltdowns over formerly acceptable meals. Anyone with kids gets it. Some days are hard
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When you finally get to finish half a cup of lukewarm tea in the privacy of your own bathroom while the kids are watching telly, it’s tempting to whip out your phone. No longer are we just calling a friend to complain about the little hellions who have terrorised us all day. Instead of that intimate chat, we update our status on Facebook to let out closest 512 friends, acquaintances, colleagues, former school mates and third cousins twice removed know that we have managed to breed demonic little sh*ts.
 
The internet is forever. The awful things people say about their kids are becoming digital fossils, waiting to be unearthed by those very kids we are complaining about. Blog posts, social media commentary and more, those “little sh*ts” will grow up and here about it. It might seem funny now but I’m not sure how I’d feel if my mum had documented my every screaming tantrum in tones of anger or frustration for all and sundry to consume. I certainly wouldn’t be happy to learn that she publicly called 3-year-old me an a*shole.

Vaguebooking

You are either comfortable discussing whatever it is on Facebook or you are not. There is no middle ground, here! I am so over the Facebook status obviously begging for someone to ask what’s wrong. You know how this goes: A vague post about being upset, the well-meaning friends ask about what might be wrong, the original poster replies that they can’t or don’t want to talk about it on Facebook and announces they will private message selected concerned friends. It begs the question of why they didn’t just do that in the first place!

These posts have me hovering over the “hide from newsfeed” button. Repeat offenders will be hidden. I’m a cranky, 35 year old woman who does not have the time or the inclination to beg you to tell me about your problems.

“I just had sex!”

Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears… Or your eyes. To paraphrase: “Read this graphic account of my last sexual encounter with my partner!”. I know, from seeing such posts go hugely viral, that I’m in the minority when I say “I’d rather poke myself in the eye than read about your shag-fest in my newsfeed!”
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I don’t share the intimate details of my sex life on the Internet. Why? There are 2 main reasons; firstly, no one needs that mental picture and secondly, the knowledge of what I get up to between the sheets isn’t really going to add anything of value to the public discourse.  When someone else decides differently, it’s bound to appear in my social media feed somewhere and before I know it, I’m in someone else’s bedroom, being served up the dubious delight of their most intimate moments. Keeping it crude and crass seems to be the key. I’m no pearl clutcher, I just don’t particularly want to read about someone else’s sex session while I eat my breakfast. Apparently, these days, that is too much to ask!

Partner Shaming

From the passive aggressive Facebook status chiding a partner for forgetting to pick up milk to the blow by blow account of an argument, we need to stop and think. Frustrations within relationships and even arguing can be quite normal. It’s a great idea to talk to a friend about it to gain a little perspective. Try doing that before sharing these intimate grievances with all our Facey friends. What I’m seeing, more and more, is these dramas playing out in real time. The issues become exacerbated because, instead of a disagreement between two people, we’ve invited the world to comment while the issue is unresolved. We’ve taken things like frustration, hurt, anger or disappointment and compounded them with shame, embarrassment and violated privacy. That has to make these minor arguments even more difficult to move on from.

The TMI Post

Even the most seasoned parent has opened a nappy to find a colour or texture they’ve never seen before. Ask your parent friends for advice or reassurance. See your doctor if you’re seriously concerned. But please, for the love of God, do not post a photo of the contents of your baby’s nappy on Facebook. Nobody wants to stumble upon a picture of poop. Same goes for your own bathroom matters or any health conditions relating to your nether regions. Discuss if you must- but spare us the visuals! 
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What’s irking you in your Facebook feed lately?
 
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Images: 1 – Getty; 2 – 3 Pixabay; 4 – Used with permission.