Already Failing at the Number One Resolution

weight lossIt's the number one resolution, the resolution that is the first to be broken, and the resolution guaranteed to break the resolutionee: losing weight.

No matter how we phrase it—whether we say we're going to healthier, getting fit, dropping pounds, or manage to squeeze into those skinny jeans—the results are still the same. We study diet plans, hope the latest fad isn't that difficult, and buy new sneakers. We join gyms, yoga studios, and wonder seriously if we'd be able to run in a marathon in six months in spite of the fact that we can barely run around the block on January 1.

And, if you're like me, by January 15th, you're pretty much over it.

For the initial two weeks, I plug away, irritated that I no longer eat chocolate and sore from the "gentle" yoga I joined with the senior group at work thinking that, perhaps, it would be easier than the hot yoga class that nearly killed me.

Still, by January 15th, I crave a cheeseburger and want to watch a Doctor Who marathon.

I'm inching closer, ever closer, to forty. My newsfeed is reporting the deaths of people in my peer group at an alarming rate from cancer and heart attacks. I had no idea I was already in that age group and am still in denial that it's happening. I realize, more than ever, that in order to be as active and healthy as I should be for my children and myself, I need to get serious about getting fit. The lackadaisical approach of three months ago isn't going to work.

I'm a little stymied about how to start. I have tried every diet under the sun. From Weight Watchers to South Beach to Atkins to cabbage soup, cleanses, juice diets, and diet pills, I've spent the last two decades trying to figure out ways to lose the weight. I've vision boarded, attended meetings, and joined Biggest Loser challenges. I've done squat challenges, ab challenges, MyFitnessPal and the Couch to 5K program.

Typing it all out is a little depressing.

So I'm starting the year looking for a way to lose weight—at least fifty pounds—while not depriving myself of bread. I want to be able to eat the homemade, from scratch foods I prepare rather than frozen entrees. I would like to avoid pills, supplements, and liquid diets. I'm researching and while I research, I'm cleaning out my garage. I bought a good used treadmill and a wall map. A la Modern Family I'm marking my miles and hoping to make it to Seattle (figuratively speaking) by next New Year's. I really did join that yoga class twice a week and I am avoiding snacks, sweets, and seconds.

I'm not sure that will work, but I'm open to suggestions from those of you who have been with me in the trenches of trying so hard to get in shape, to get healthy, and to fit in those jeans. What are you doing?