Why I’ll Never Post an #AfterSex Selfie

aftersexselfie_sizedThere’s no getting around it. Selfies are here to stay, especially after Ellen’s famed group selfie during the Oscars. Recently there’s been a new trend on Instagram: #AfterSex selfies (NSFW). It’s exactly how it sounds: tousled-hair couples lounging in various states of undress and post-coital bliss. Who thinks of these things? I’ve shared plenty of selfies, but I’ll never post an after sex selfie.

I enjoy getting a peek into my friends’ lives through their Instagram feed. My instaphotos reveal my love of food, a cat who rules my desk, and my coffee addiction. Oh, and selfies, of course. With a quick glance, anyone will be able to figure out my preference for Starbucks and my hunger for Asian food. You won’t, however, figure out how my hair sticks up after a romp in the sheets.

Sharing a post-sex selfie seems self-congratulatory to me. Grabbing the phone to document the occasion is rather counterintuitive for basking in a euphoric post-sex cuddle. My anti-cuddling self would rather grab my smartphone to read an ebook instead. I’m pretty sure posting a photo my husband fast asleep with an #aftersex tag would be considered TMI. Not to mention boring.

Naturally, I asked my husband what he thought about the #AfterSex selfie trend. His response: Why ruin the moment by bragging that you just had sex?

An after sex selfie is just another way to notch the (virtual) bedpost. Since I’ve been married for almost 12 years, I’ve stopped keeping track. It’s the quality not the quantity that matters, right? If I’m going to brag about my latest sexcapades, I’d rather do it over cocktails with my girlfriends.

That’s the best way to compare notes without any (virtual) evidence. The Internet is forever and I don’t want any intimate photos for my future generations to discover.

Would you share an #AfterSex selfie?