For many women, when we think about having sex, we instantly associate it with being fully naked. So what happens on the nights (once you’re settled into marriage or a relationship) when all you may want to do is climb into your PJs and crawl into bed?
The last thing on your mind is getting naked, and so … requests for sex from your partner aren’t very appealing.
Sometimes the thought of “getting naked” is a huge deterrent to intimacy.
But, let’s be honest — in real relationships, after awhile, sex is no longer always hot and sweaty. It’s not always intense and dripping in juicy flow. In fact, in many relationships, sex may not exist at all. True love making takes emotional work, connection, and communication.
So, is that your only two options — full nudity or no sex at all? The answer is: Nope! There’s a pretty fantastic third option.
Every once in awhile, I suggest keeping your clothes on to experience sex.
Why? Because great sex is not about naked bodies writhing all over each other trying to cum and get off on a climax. (Although climax is an amazing experience, it is also just one small part of having amazing sex.)
Sacred sex is about intimacy, connection, and relationship building. And starting with your clothes on (and experiencing arousal fully-clothed) is an amazing way to grant yourself the permission to enjoy pleasure in a sacred, more intimate way.
Although this might seem boring compared to the hot, sweaty sex you see in the movies, trust me … it’s not … at all!
With clothes on, the build up of anticipation and excitement can produce amazing orgasmic sex if initiated with care and compassion. Your clothes are a boundary that separates intercourse from sexual arousal and play. And it is in the dance of increasing arousal that your experience of sex becomes more fulfilling and powerful.
Keeping yourself clothed, at least partially, is a major turn-on. Clothing creates a sensation of suspense. And in essence, the clothes create a safe space for self-expression that may not exist otherwise, especially when body image and self-esteem are at risk.
Instead, your sexual connection builds from slow and sensual intimate practices that steadily excite and arouse orgasmic pleasure. And it is OK to start and end without getting naked.
The secret to an amazing sexual experience is creating a loving connection. And connection can happen right where you are, in the moment, with your clothes on. (And some of the best orgasmic feelings can happen fully-clothed.)
So for a moment, let’s let go of the need for total nakedness! Here are some arousing ways you can use clothing to enhance sex:
1. Let clothing remind you to … slow down. Use striptease as a way to prolong the experience and build anticipation. Take off each other’s clothes slowly, revealing different parts of the body. Slowing down the process gives you time to explore different parts of the body and really feel each area as it’s revealed.
Rather than ripping off each other’s clothes or rushing the process, use clothing for exploration and excitement. Lift and peek under the clothing and use it as an adventure of discovery.
2. Play with a vibrator. When you’re seriously stressed or turned off. give your body plenty of time to reach arousal. Your partner can slide a vibrator down your pants or use it gently over clothing. And then slowly, begin to remove your clothes as you feel ready to explore more deeply.
When you’re turned off, the power of allowing vibration your clothes on can give you the sexual energy you need to move into the next phase of sexual play.
3. Treat yourself to a fully-clothed orgasm. See how long you can stay fully clothed and how excited you can get just by connecting, kissing and sliding around on each other. Use intimate sexual positions to enhance the overall connection you feel during your make-out session. The connection alone is enough to turn you on.
Leaving your clothes on can generate friction and new sexy experience that results in a surprisingly fantastic orgasm.
4. Take only your bottoms off. Keeping your top on creates an amazing feeling of safety for sexual foreplay. Foreplay can have an immediate effect if the connection concentrates down in the pelvis. When you keep your top half clothed, you can then play down low with a sense of direction and focus. Men can focus on the female clitoris and turning on sensation. And women can focus on the penis. This focus alone can produce amazing results.
You can reverse the foreplay and take off your tops and using nipple stimulation and kissing to stimulate arousal.
5. Wear erotic clothing (and have sex with high heels on). Enhance your sexual play with sexy and erotic clothes, especially wearing high heels or thigh high boots as you wrap your legs around your lover’s body.
Start with a discussion about which type of erotic clothing is a turn on (for each of you). Decide what your ideal fantasy outfit is, and then shop for it together.
The alluring sight and texture of that sexy ensemble can heighten arousal and incite new levels of passion and sexual play. The more erotic the clothes, the sexier you’ll feel and the hotter the experience may become.
Remember, your clothes are an extension of your personal expression and sexuality. So let every side of you out to play.
So there you have it — five fun ways to leave your clothes on and enjoy a sex life more amazing than you’ve ever experienced before!