My Husband Doesn’t Wear His Wedding Band And I’m OK With That

Wedding rings are a societal norm when two people get married, but they are also a reminder—a sentiment—to the person wearing it. Picking out my wedding ring was a big deal for me. I think it is for most brides-to-be. My wedding ring is symbolic of the day I said, “I do” to my husband, and something I will cherish the rest of my life. And it will hopefully be passed on to my children.

My husband’s wedding band on the other hand, mmm, not so much. To be honest, I’m not even sure where his ring is. His ring cost around $200 and was made of Tungsten.That I remember. I remember this because he picked his ring out in five minutes and at the time said it was no big deal. I hemmed and hawed about the ring I ultimately chose because I wanted it to be something I would wear the rest of my life.

He has always had physical jobs and isn’t much of a jewelry guy. Many times the ring would fall off because it was a little big on him and then he’d leave it in his car while on the job.

Eventually, he stopped wearing it. Not on purpose, but because he would take it off and forget to put back on or just leave in his car. I never thought much of it. The reason being is that I know he is devoted to me. A cheap piece of metal isn’t going to tell me otherwise. So I wasn’t surprised when I noticed his ring would be MIA for days on end.

He and I had a conversation about rings one day. I asked if he wanted to get a new one, perhaps one that fit him better. He had mentioned to me that he would rather get my first name initial tattooed on his ring finger. Since he is pro-tattoo I didn’t bat an eye. I knew he had probably conjured this idea up in his mind long before he told me.

Sure enough, months later when he went to get another tattoo on his arm, he also got an “S” inked on his left ring finger. Since then he has never worn his wedding ring. I know there are many people who might think this is disrespectful or not traditional. But, in all the ways he is traditional, he is equally not traditional.

He is the type of guy to say that “Hallmark holidays” are a joke—like Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day. He despises the fact that someone, somewhere is going to tell him to buy me flowers on a specific day because it is a “supposed” holiday. He shows his love by doing on the daily. Showing up day after day as a husband, and also as a father to our girls. Not only is he committed to me, but he is committed to our family.

I suppose by him being ringless, he may be mistaken for being available. That may worry some. But it doesn’t worry me. Not because he isn’t a DILF, because I would say he certainly is. But because the one thing I have learned by wearing my wedding ring is, if someone is going to hit on you, they will hit on you. Most times, if not all times, they will not even care to look at your hand to see if you’re available.

A piece of jewelry isn’t going to refrain someone from being unfaithful either. If they are going to cheat, it will happen. With or without a ring on that finger.

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