Answer All Ten Parenting Questions Correctly and Win…My Undying Admiration


When I first began the business of having children, I realized pretty quickly that it was going to be a big day job. I didn’t realize though that a few short years in I’d be going to bed not just physically but also intellectually exhausted.

Each day, my kids get more sophisticated in their lines of questioning, and I am no match for them. For example, this recent conversation: 5 yr old: Mommy, do poisonous snakes live in Seattle? Me (reasonably confidently): No, I don’t think so. Most poisonous snakes live in hotter countries far away. 5 yr old: But didn’t we see poisonous snakes at the zoo? Me: Well, yes, but those are special snakes that come from far away and live in cages. 5 yr old: But they might escape from their cages! Me: No, the cages are very strong, and the zookeepers are very careful. 5 yr old: But it’s possible that a poisonous snake could have escaped from its cage, right? Me: Oh, I’m pretty sure that hasn’t happened. 5 yr old: How do you know? Have you called the zoo? And what if the zookeepers forgot about one snake that did escape? How do you know for sure? Me: Well… 5 yr old: See?? There could be poisonous snakes living in Seattle. We need snake proof boots.

And this is just an 90 second portion of my day. Some other recent intriguingly exhausting questions include:

1. Do we have scales?

2. Why don’t we have scales?

3. What are rocks made of?

4. Why can’t I marry people in my family?

5. Does great granny [who passed away recently] still have her skin on?

6. Why do I have to sleep all by myself when you get to sleep with Daddy?

7. How do birds breathe?

8. Why isn’t it nice to say people are fat? Is it nicer to say that they’re wide?

9. Why do you have tattoos?

10. When should I get a tattoo?

What questions have been tripping you up lately? And does anyone know where to buy snake proof boots in Seattle or Walnut Creek??