Before our season passes expire, I decided to take Joseph to Disneyland. Without his sister.

We’ve done Disneyland before, the three of us, and there were a lot of rides little sister isn’t quite tall enough to go on. And when the adult to child ratio weighs more heavily on the child side, it means big brother can’t go on the Indiana Jones ride. Then there’ the little matter of Elizabeth’s two hour nap. While she slept, we wandered around, but we couldn’t go on rides.

I decided it would be a good idea to take Joseph without his sister because with Disneyland’s prices going up, I’m not going to be able to afford a trip for a while.

I felt a little guilty about it. Fine. I felt a lot guilty about it. After all, it’s a pretty big trip and to go without both of my kids felt off. Maybe if this was the beginning of our pass and I knew I’d take Elizabeth later this year, I’d have felt better. But that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t help but feel bad that Elizabeth was going to miss out on Christmas at Disneyland. While she went last year, she doesn’t remember.

Right now, I’m sure most of my readers are shaking their heads at me and getting ready to click away from my first world problems, but dig a tiny bit deep and you’ll see the real reason for my guilt was the fear that one of my children would feel slighted.

Silly fear, right? But so common.

How often do we try to make sure our kids have the even number of gifts, the equal amount of time? And while spending one on one time is fantastic and helps build our relationships, it means someone is left behind. Joseph’s been left behind a few times in the past three months. When I went to Boston, he stayed home while Elizabeth went to my sister’s house. When we go to the children’s hospital, he stays home while Elizabeth, obviously, goes. And while a trip to the hospital isn’t Disneyland, it’s still one on one time with Mommy and Daddy. I though the needed some time with Mommy.

But when I told Joseph it was going to be just him and I, he got upset. He wanted his sister to go. He was worried she’d miss out. He couldn’t imagine doing Disneyland without his little sister and very seriously said the big rides weren’t that big deal to him.

What would you do?