If you were to look at me before I became pregnant you might categorize me as a hippy schoolteacher. But upon the discovery of maternity jeans in my fifth month of pregnancy I became straight up gansta yo.
Not only that, I am a trendsetter. I have started a new wave of fashion amongst the pregnant crew. At first I fought it, but just days ago as I progressed further into my sixth month I saw the light. Some people wear that neat little elastic band on maternity jeans all the way up to their boobs. I tried that, but it slid down, and my jeans with it, so I pulled them up. I thought maybe if I folded the elastic over it might give me more support, no luck, the pants slid down again, so I pulled them up. Then I saw the light.
It was last week as I was doing chores around the house- I would embrace the new style my maternity jeans were obviously demanding and I would not adjust. I would be the rebel I really am and let go. I would become straight gangsta- know what I mean?
While doing the dishes, my jeans slid down and I let them slide. While walking up the stairs to do laundry they slid a little further and I cold kicked it. Finally my honey appeared; he took one look at me and tried valiantly to stifle a laugh. I looked at him in horror- was he laughing at my new sagging jean maternity pant style? Word!
Me: What? (I asked innocently trying to hide my new gangsta style behind my old hippie one- not sure if he was ready for the new me)
Honey: Are you trying a new style?
Me: Yes, I am embracing my inner gangsta now that I’m prego yo! (I said looking out the corner of my eye)
Honey: Hmm… so you’re Gangsta B*&!$ Rich now? (my last name in case you missed the byline is Rich)
Me: True that (I continued to do the laundry with the comfort that my supportive honey was okay with my new style and wouldn’t try to bring me down.)
I took the bath mats into the master bathroom and I saw my “gangsta” style. Somehow a dark blue elastic waistband hardly covering your pregnant rear does not a “gangsta” make. Instead I resembled a plumber with a very large stomach rolling over the top of my jeans. Alas my time as a “True Gangsta” was short lived and I went back to resembling the slightly hippie schoolteacher. It’s okay, yo in my heart I will always be “Gansta B*&!$ Rich”.