7 Reasons Why My Pregnancy Is Just Like Kate Middleton’s

1. We both crave candy. Kate’s chauffeured Range Rover has been stocked with mint imperials and Werther’s Originals. Likewise, my Toyota is littered with Sour Patch Kids and Gummy Bears that I hide from my preschooler by claiming I’m just sucking on cough drops. 

2. We’ve experienced pregnancy weight issues. Suffering from extreme morning sickness, Kate found herself 14 pounds underweight during her first trimester. Suffering from an extreme sweet tooth, I find myself 10 pounds heavier than I was during my first pregnancy.  (See #1)

3. We’re taking a cautious approach to hair color. Kate’s tresses recently made international news when a few strands of gray peeked through her stylish ‘do. The horror!  People, you should see the dark roots sprouting into my faux blonde; add some rubber bracelets and I’m Material Girl-era Madonna, only much, much older. 

4. We have male obstetricians. Kate’s doc is also Queen Elizabeth’s gynecologist (mull over that) and was recently knighted. Mine is just a really good guy and something of a surrogate husband on days when I need to b*tch about heartburn and hip pain while my real husband is at the office. 

5. Neither one of us can tell real labor from Braxton Hicks. If you believe the tabloids, Kate went to the hospital last month complaining of severe contractions. Whether it was a false alarm or a totally made up story, it certainly rang true for me. I recently demanded a same-day ob-gyn appointment to rule out preterm labor when some Braxton Hicks contractions knocked me on my arse. But as with Kate, this pregnancy seems to be going the distance.

6. We’re thinking about hiring a baby nurse. Both Kate and I prided ourselves on our DIY baby care with our firstborns; the only help we needed was from our moms. But things change when you’re juggling two kids and a schedule of royal appearances (or in my case, blogging deadlines). This time around, I’m not opposed to bringing in a professional, and neither is Kate, whose people have reportedly contacted local agencies per royal tradition. 

7. We’re both anticipating girls. My baby’s gender was confirmed by genetic testing. Kate’s baby’s gender is being wished for by a few billion royal watchers eager to welcome a Princess Diana for the next generation. (C’mon, you’d cry your eyes out, and you know it!)  Here’s hoping we’re both “in the pink” next month.